It was sometime in early 2022 that I found myself reading a few romance novels. I remember being mildly annoyed about how most of the books had instant chemistry/attraction as part of the plot. Then I suddenly found myself wondering, how do I feel if and when I feel attraction? I think I have probably never felt instant attraction. When I look at a good looking man/woman I just feel an appreciation for their beauty, like how I would feel looking at a beautiful painting or photograph. At most all I feel is a wish is to look at them a few times more than is appropriate. I don’t remember how it feels like to feel attraction towards someone I have feelings for. The last time I felt strong feelings for someone was many years ago and I can’t recall my feelings now. I am very curious to know how other people feel when they experience attraction towards someone. How does it feel physically, and what thoughts and/or feelings do you experience? Also, do you consider chemistry and attraction to be the same or different? How?

  • BeboOP
    43 months ago

    This was quite helpful, thanks. Last year I did read up a bit online and realised that I experience aesthetic attraction. From there I wandered into the demisexual sub on reddit and lurked there for a while. Even though I do experience some of what demisexuals experience, I have never had a crush on any friend, something demisexuals report quite frequently. Maybe I am somewhere on the asexuality spectrum, but don’t know where exactly. I will check out the links you mentioned and lurk around the asexuality communities.