• Hyperreality@kbin.social
    2·
    10 months ago

    You’re joking, but a pro-tip: don’t talk (too much) about this kind of stuff when you’re romantically interested in someone. Make the first dates or ecounters with someone a positive experience, rather than ersatz therapy.

    It’s a mistake too many (lonely) men fall into when they feel a connection to someone new or also in longterm relationships.

    • GladiusB@lemmy.world
      2·
      10 months ago

      I think they feel like they just want to be transparent. Which is cool. But, it can be too much sometimes.

      • Hyperreality@kbin.social
        1·
        10 months ago

        It’s not just that.

        It’s that a lot of (young) guys rarely get to talk about their emotions. So when they meet someone who seems to care about them, whether it be a prospective partner or a friend, they overshare. It all comes out in one big trauma/emotional dump.

        Which is fair enough. It has to come out some time, but it’s not particular fun, sexy or fair on the other person. Especially if it’s some young girl who has no clue how to deal with the twenty problems you just listed.

        Better to see a therapist, work on yourself, or talk to someone who’s prepared for it. Not on a third date at the theme park. Certainly not the entire story from childhood and all the stuff that they can’t easily solve anyway. Better to have fun together, maybe mention you were having a bit of a bad day, and thank them for making you feel better.

        Obviously, this is advice I should have followed when I was younger. It’s hard. We’re all human.