I played a homebrew dark steampunk fantasy campaign years ago where my character used to be a wizard. his backstory was he cast a spell to transform himself into a huge warrior one time as an experiment but when he did, it made him too dumb to remember how to change back. He still thought he was a wizard though, so he would cast “spells” by throwing whatever wasnt bolted down at people. My favorite “spell” he cast was teleport. We were being chased by some thugs in a car and i teleported into their car to stop them by just jumping out of our van and onto the hood of their car. I rolled high so ended up going through the windshield and landing in the back seat where i clonked the driver out.

have you considered drinking liquid mercury?

Cut off my funding?! I cast Molotov Cocktail.

The secret to immortality is very simple.

Just don’t die.

He never had the makings of a court wizard